State of play...

So far today for Braintree departures :

0727 - Cancelled
0812 - F*cked up. See below ...
0900 - Cancelled

Trains leaving at 1000 and later seem to be getting back to what passes for normal.

Second day back...

After 3 weeks  working from home during the Olympics and Paralympics and all's  completely f*cked already. 

One under at Brentwood means GA are terminating trains  early, canceling and generally doing as much as possible to screw the  paying public.

We were kicked off the 0812, which was running over 50 minutes late, at Shenfield to try and get a packed Southend service.

Didn't bother, we eventually boarded a packed Colchester service.

Currently more than an hour late and still  nowhere near Stratford.

You couldn't make it up.

Shambles upon shambles upon shambles...

The Jubilee Line appears to be running their Olympic clusterf*ck service tonight.

Relatively huge gaps between trains and every one packed out when you they do eventually pitch up.

The reason  appears to be some  Olympic related crap going on at Stratford .

Total f*cking chaos at Stratford, all of tonight's trains are being  totally bolloxed.

A f*cking Southminster train which is supposed to arrive after we've left went through well before the Braintree which is now 15 minutes late and dangerously close to the kind of delay that gets the tossers at GA thinking about cancelling.

Just got on...

The 0812 at Braintree and  the brain dead f*ckwits already sitting on it  haven't been arsed to open one bloody window despite it being one of the warmest mornings all this year.

A rare...

Treat tonight.

I'm getting to sit on a train as it travels at it's maximum speed.

Doesn't happen often these days.

Fifteen miserable...

F*cked up minutes late again simply because Greater bloody Anglia can't maintain their trains.

At the last count that made 3 f*cked up trains this morning; GA tweeted about a shortened Clacton train earlier, theyes then failed completely to mention the train I travelled on this morning was also 4 coaches short, presumably because it too was f*cked.

Just ridiculous.

If it's Friday...

Then you can guarantee the train is going to be late .

Yet again an early start has resulted in another f*cked up journey.

We're currently allegedly 10 minutes late  due to a broken down train earlier.

We're now way later than that, we should be at Stratford about now but we've only just passed bloody Shenfield and it's another 15 minutes from there  to Stratford!

Hopeless.

Here we go...

Again, utter f*cking chaos at Stratford.

Trains going nowehere, no information, constant chopping and changing of platforms. It's pathetic.

It all seems to be being caused by a f*cked-up Inter-City which is currently blocking platform 9.

As a result everything going north is stopping at platform 10A. Meaning trains ate blocking back more and more.

A Southend train has just left, 10 minutes late. Next up is an Ipswich.

No bloody sign of the Braintree train.
UPDATE:

Just left Stratford 10 minutes late.

Dangerously close to the kind of delay that sets the wankers at GA thinking about cancelling the service at Witham.

A pat...

On the back for GA.

The 0812 got to Stratford just 2 minutes late.

Good job gents.

Another shambles...

Courtesy of GA this morning. An earlier broken down train is causing absolute chaos.

The 0727 was cancelled so the 0812 is now running almost 10 minutes late and was rammed well before we arrived at Chelmsford.

Even more overcrowded now.

Just what you want first thing in the morning.

More...

Shite service from the new kings of shite services at GA.

The tossers decided to cancel the Southminster train tonight and then told all their now f*cked-up passengers to get the Braintree train and change at Shenfield.

Result? Another f*cked-up journey for not one trainload of punters but two.

The Braintree train is currently absolutely rammed with Southminster f*ckers hogging all the seats and blocking all the doorways.

Brilliant.

The gormless...

F*ckwits running GA have now published their special Olympic timetable.

And, surprise, surprise there's a new "additional" departure from Stratford to Braintree being run for the duration of the Olympic clusterf*ck.

This "additional" service promptly disappears come the end of the Paralympics and fails to reappear. Ever.

It's no longer even shown in GA's newly printed timetable which runs till December.

So a service we were promised over 6 months ago, is now rescheduled as merely a temporary  addition.

I did harbour high hopes for some noticeable improvement when GA took over the franchise but, I now have to admit sadly, Greater Anglia truly are just as shite as National Express in every way.

Another morning...

Another ballsed-up journey courtesy of Network bloody Rail.

The f*ck-up de jour is a knackered level crossing barrier at Ingatestone.

The relatively good news is that there are currently about half a dozen Orange jackets millling around in the Ingatestone station car park seemingly getting ready to fix it.

Can you rely on anything these tossers maintain?

Yet again...

The dickheads running this shamelessly f*cked-up excuse for a railway are  holding us outside Chelmsford.

Yet again they reckon we'll be here for at least another 10 minutes because the previous Braintree train ran late and hasn't cleared the Braintree branch line yet.

F*ckwits!

Just the 3 later trains overtook us tonight.

It's turned into one huge joke.

Unbelievably...

The cretins running this shambles of a railway are now holding us outside Chelmsford.

They reckon we'll be here for at least another 10 minutes because the previous Braintree train ran late and hasn't cleared the Braintree branch line yet.

This from the same bunch of incompetent f*ckwits who, on 2 separate occasions last week and the week before, felt it incumbent on themselves to cancel Witham to Braintree trains at Witham because the bloody things were running late!

What's changed tonight?

Update: The gormless f*ckers are still bullshitting on their shite app that this train is "on time"

Bollocks it is.

So far 2 later trains have overtaken us while we sit here stewing.

You just couldn't make up this level of stupidity.

Apocalyptic warnings...

In this morning's Metro freebie paper that the tube won't be able to cope during the Olympic clusterf*ck.

No shit Sherlock?

http://goo.gl/LfSJs

Another mindboggling...

Shambolic display of incompetence by the new kings of the f*ck-up, Greater Anglia.

The Central Line has been disrupted at Stratford by a burst water pipe of all things.

So the cretins at Stratford have seen fit to completely shut the stairs leading up from the station entrance which just happens to be the direct route to one of the Central Line platforms.

It also happens to be the best route from the Jubilee Line to platform 10A.

Anyone wanting to get to platform 10A now has to double back, go back down the stairs they've just struggled up, go into the southern rat-run, fight their way through the stinking mass of humanity that are now crowding into it and make their way up onto platform 10. Then it's along to the central stairs, back down to the central rat-run which should have been accessible from the Jubilee Line and finally up onto platform 10A.

A troop of deaf and blind chimpanzees could do a better job than the plonkers running Stratford tonight.

Twelve miserable ..

Minutes late now because the arseholes running the railway don't have courage to do to the f*ckers from further up the line what they do to us at every opportunity. 

Mind you given their abysmal record of late, they wouldn't have any trains to run most of the time....

All...

F*cked up again this morning.

Currently still stuck at Witham waiting for abysmally late Clacton and Stowmarket trains to go through.

Curious how trains to and from Colchester, Clacton or Ipswich are never ever cancelled in the same way Braintree trains are. For example, the Stowmarket was 36 minutes late.

Last night's 1809 to Braintree was binned at almost no notice because it was an appalling 20 minutes late! How exactly does that work then?

Looking around...

The platform at Witham, I reckon there must close to a quarter of a million pounds worth of season ticket holders being f*cked up because some lazy twat at Greater Anglia/Network Rail couldn't be arsed prioritizing the Braintree train so it could make it's time slot on the Braintree branch.

What company treats it's paying customers with the contempt we've seen from GA recently?

New company...

Same incompetence.

Lots of seriously pissed off Braintree passengers questioning the gormless drones at Witham to find out why we seem to be the only sods to have their trains bolloxed so regularly.

They have no answers to perfectly rational questions. They just stand there shrugging like they couldn't give a flying f*ck who they f*ck up when they cancel trains just as long as it's not the mouthy whiners from Colchester.

Yep...

We've just been sheepishly informed by the driver that the tossers are slinging us off at f*cking Witham just in time to get off into a thunderstorm.

Unbelievable.

Once again...

It appears that Braintree trains are considered fair game for arbitrary cancellation.

The National f*cking Rail app is saying this train will be cancelled from Witham again.

Useless F*cking Bastards. Another ruined evening.

As usual...

Whenever the sun shines the clapped-out shitbox Class 321s we're obliged to travel on by GA become stifling sweaty mobile saunas.

In this day and age I don't think air-conditioning is too much to ask.

The only other trains GA run without air-con are the even older Class 315s

Must do better.

As predicted...

The Braintree has just arrived absolutely f*cking rammed with Chelmsford arseholes hogging all the seats.

Bastards.

More crap...

Courtesy of National bloody Rail.

Their shitty clapped-out signals went tits-up again earlier. As a result another spectacular f*ck-up is in progress.

Trains are currently running 15 minutes late again.


Inevitably, the platforms at Stratford are rapidly filling up with Southend and Chelmsford arseholes.

The Braintree left Liverpool St late so as usual it'll be rammed with tossers travelling to Chelmsford.

The 1801 Clacton train just arrived at 1822. That puts the Braintree at about half past at the earliest.

And all the while this bollocks is going on the cretinous "Olympic Park welcome" messages are being played every 10 irritating minutes.

Coupled to which is the dopey cow on the tannoy who has failed to allow any automated announcement to finish.

Barmy

Another shambles...

Courtesy of TfHell and National Rail.

First the endlessly f*cked up Jubilee Line managed to turn a routine 10 minute journey into a 25 minute drag.

We stopped endlessly. Each time we did we were assured by the driver that we were awaiting the train ahead to leave the next platform.

Oddly, we were fed this same bullshit on both occasions we stopped between Canary Wharf and North Greenwich.

Later, we were left sitting at West Ham, so we were informed, to "...regulate the service...". More bullshit.

Finally we stopped 3 times on the approach to Stratford to, as we were advised "...await a train departing the platform..." (twice) and finally and inevitably we were "...awaiting a free platform...".

We eventuality arrived to find the inevitable 3 empty platforms.

Next, National Rail have a load of f*cked up signals somewhere north of Witham.

As sure as night follows day every bloody train going within 20 miles of Witham is being f*cked over, especially the Braintree services which go nowhere near the bolloxed signals.

Coupled with this crap there are also speed restrictions on place because it's f*cking summer again.

Only 8 weeks to go till the great Olympic clusterf*ck.

Another miserable...

Journey courtesy of the gormless arseholes traveling to Chelmsford.

Boarding 1909 Braintree at Stratford about s dozen of these dumb shits piled onto the train and immediately stopped, blocking the doorway.

I had no intention of being f*cked over by these moronic bastards so I dumped my bike in the one piece of arsehole free territory.

They seemed to get the message and moved further down the train.

Even so, the train is still heaving with these selfish f*ckers

Just to add...

Insult to injury the next Braintree trains has had to follow a f*cking goods trains all the way from at least Chelmsford.

It's a good 7 minutes late now.

Hopeless.

Slung off...

At Witham, because the train I was on was running almost half an hour late.

Now I'm obliged to wait at least half an hour until the next Braintree train arrives. It's already at least 5 miutes late.

The question I have is what happens if that train ends up half an hour late? Do the incompetent f*ckwits terminate that one here as well?

And so on ad nauseum?

F*cking idiots.

And still the...

F*ckwittery goes on.

We've just been told that because this train is now so catastrophically late, they're slinging us off at Witham.

If seems GA are as big a f*cking sick joke as NXEA ever were.

The only...

Saving grace about the eternally hopeless app that GA give away is it's free.

It's also completely f*cking useless.

It's currently showing this train as leaving Stratford 15 minutes late; it's not, it's 17 minutes late and getting later.

The app also has a nasty habit of showing the train further on than it actually is. At one point this morning it was showing the train I was on as being 2 stops further on than we were.

It's just cheap and nasty.

Fifteen...

F*cking  minutes late Braintree has just arrived.

Then the useless tosser on the tannoy announced it as a Southend train.

Prick.

Oh bloody marvelous...

Now the useless wankers have a f*cking inter city blocking the line just short of Stratford while it's waiting for a green signal.

This bunch are just as crap as NXEA when it comes to those f*cking things.

Arseholes.

Crap service this morning...

Shite again tonight.

Nothing moving north of Stratford at the moment.

There's a delayed Clacton train blocking platform 10, another late Southend behind that then hopefully the now very bloody late Braintree train is behind that.

F*cking abysmal.

Finally...

Arrived at Stratford... 50 minutes late!

Too late..

To stop this journey turning into a complete clusterf*ck, Network Rail have finally fixed the signals.

We finally arrived at Ingatestone, 55 minutes late!

Now we're warned, there's likely to be "congestion nearer to London".

Marvellous.

Not for the first time...

A seriously delayed train I've had the misfortune to be on has been overtaken by another train.

Why? The signals are supposed to be so f*cked that only one train at a time can go through between Chelmsford and Ingatestone.

Logic dictates each train should go through as it reaches the front if the queue. Apparently not. Some trains are plainly being given priority over others.

Again why?

Hilarously...

The Greater Anglia Android app is currently showing the train I'm sitting on as being 5 minutes late and somewhere  between  Chelmsford and Ingatestone.

We are actually stopped beside the A12 halfway between Hatfield Peverel and Chelmsford and presently at least 20 minutes late.

The shit just keeps on coming, as there are now multiple signal failures all along the route into London and trains are being backed up to f*ck.

Why does this kind of crap always happen on Friday?

It's just like...

NXEA never left.

Another bloody train cancelled.

This mornings 0726 has been binned allegedly because of "signalling problems..." somewhere between here and Witham.

This is the second cancelled train I've had in 2 weeks. They cancelled an 1809 Stratford to Braintree last week.

Traveling on...

One of the newly cleaned and refurbished Class 321s.

I must say it's a much nicer experience than traveling on an NXEA operated equivalent.

Shame about the discarded empty coffee cup rolling about on the floor.

Why do...

I get the sense of deja vu?

The next Stratford train is at least 10 minutes late.

It's also, according to the Witham tannoy, absolutely f*cking rammed.

The reason for the shambles is a cracked rail on the approach to Liverpool Street  closing 3 platforms.

Utter shite given these rails were replaced not long ago during another well publicized National Rail balls-up.

New operator. Same old...

Shit.

Slung off at Witham.

The next Stratford train isn't due for another 25 miserable minutes.

The London-bound platform is absolutely bloody rammed.

It's like NXEA never left.

F*cking ridiculous.

And so the crap begins again...

Another Network Rail f*ck-up at Liverpool Street has allegedly reduced the number of platforms available there.

As a result, Greater Anglia have picked up the same lazy unimaginative habits that NXEA had when they were faced with this kind of shit.

They're terminating trains short.

So the 0812 is only running as far as Witham this morning. Once there we're on our own.

Didn't take long.

And I really did want to give 'em the benefit of the doubt.

Shouldn't have even tried.

Yet more...

Crap from TfHell. The Jubilee line is currently f*cked up big time, and as an added bonus, they're also dicking around with the DLR.

A fire alarm at Swiss Cottage or St Johns Wood earlier has screwed the Jubilee.

At the same time,  the dopey wankers are trialling the DLR service they expect to run during the Olympics clusterf*ck.

I have news for them, it's utter shite.

Back to the drawing board boys.

On top of all this bollocks, Bob bloody Crow has called the maintainers who keep the Jubilee Line running out on f*cking strike for the rest of the week.

The question is, given the less than spectacular service we generalally see, will we miss the lazy bastards?

For some reason...

Passengers waiting at Stratford are now being regularly subjected to a bizarre tannoy announcement by some weird sounding f*cker welcoming us to "... Stratford, the home of the 2012 Olympic Park venues."

Like we need any reminders about this summer's mega-clusterf*ck.

Lies, queue jumpers...

And another f*cked up evenings travel courtesy of the tossers at TfHell.

The lies were the bullshit coming over the tannoy which was gleefully announcing a "good service" on all Underground lines.

That was shown to clearly be bollocks when the drones running the station were forced to close the barriers after the platforms became dangerously overcrowded as no Stratford-bound trains were coming through.

The first one didn't appear for almost 10 minutes. The next 4 were completely packed, I finally made it onto the sixth, a new record for unboardable trains.

Tempers weren't helped by the queue jumping cow who thought she'd slide up the inside hoping no-one would notice. She was wrong.

Finally, when I got to Stratford, the mainline was a crock of shit as well.

Within...

2 days of them appearing, the dot-matrix displays on platform 10A at Stratford are up and running.

Shame National Rail can't update the signalling as swiftly. Still no direct service from Stratford to Braintree between 5pm and 6pm.

Typically...

Greater Anglia have managed to make more progress in 6 weeks with improvements to the station infrastructure at Stratford than NXEA and National Rail managed in 6 months.

New dot-matrix displays have now been installed on platform 10A; they aren't switched on, but they're there.

Moreover, the CCTV cameras and displays used by the train drivers are now working.

You can forgive them the odd bad night when they're making this much progress.

If only Network Rail were as keen, we might already have the promised additional Braintree service...

The first bad night,

Tonight gradually degenerated into one of those classic rolling shambles which characterized NXEA's running of the Greater Anglia franchise.

First up, an overhead line problem between Thorpe-le-Soken and Clacton  meant some Clacton trains were being cancelled while others were terminating at Thorpe.

This meant a backlog of Clacton, Chelmsford and Colchester passengers at Stratford. As a result, I gave the Braintree a miss and got the 1806 for Ipswich, which doesn't stop at Chelmsford. I could change at Witham. Good thinking; or so I thought.

As it happened it got worse. There were no spare seats, the bulk of the additional passengers seem to have been for Colchester.

Next, we were held at a red signal outside Shenfield because another train was having overhead line problems. These were obviously insurmountable because as we dragged into the station there was an empty Southend-bound Class 321 on the down main-line platform.  We had to use one of the Metro platforms to get through the station. However, the line controller, whoever they are, played a blinder. They simply replaced the knackered 321 with a Metro Class 315 which left Shenfield for Southend just before we were allowed to leave.

The 1806 tonight was scheduled to make an additional stop at Hatfield Peverel. As we left Hatfield, a berk who was standing across from me wearing a parka got his hood caught on the emergency alarm handle and managed to inadvertently pull it; the train slammed to a stop. It took another 15 minutes for the driver to arrive to reset it. Luckily we were in the front carriage of the train so it didn't take him as long to arrive as it could have.

We eventually pulled into Witham almost half-an-hour later than scheduled.

Fortunately, given the weather, the Braintree train arrived within 3 minutes. We finally got to Braintree around 15 minutes late.

Given the circumstances and the way events transpired, the evening was handled by GA far better than a similar set of cock-ups would have been managed by NXEA. 

Promises, promises...

One of the highlights, for me at least, of the new timetable was the promise that the 1720 departure from Liverpool Street would finally begin stopping at Stratford from today.

However, it now appears that the useless f*cks at Network Rail can never finish anything when they say they will as this has quietly appeared on the Greater Anglia blog notifying us that the start of the new service has been postponed "...until a later date...".

Marvelous.

New Company...

And so far so good.

National Express East Anglia (NXEA) left the Anglia rail franchise totally unlamented on 5 February.

The same day their successors, Greater Anglia (GA), took over there was heavy snow, over 8 inches fell in Braintree overnight.

The difference in attitude to this between the 2 companies was startling.

If NXEA had still been running the railway it was a given that not one train would have been run to Braintree all week. But GA not only ran trains to and from Braintree but they ran them all the way into Liverpool Street.

What cancellations there were all trains on other routes, and there weren't nearly as many of those as NXEA imposed in similar conditions at the end of 2010.

Moreover, the quality of the information that GA provide is an order of magnitude superior to what we came to expect from NXEA. They are still using email to provide information but they are at least sending these messages in time, messages from NXEA were regularly three-quarters of an hour and frequently over an hour late.

The high hopes I entertained for this franchise are so far (fingers crossed) being realised.

It's a good start, hopefully, they won't let their standards slip.