If it's Monday...

Then you can guarantee either AbHellio or Notwork Fail and quite frequently, both will find a way to f*ck up your journey into work.

This mornings farce was caused by f*cked up points just outside of Chelmsford, Oh, how I hate that f*cking shithole.

I'd caught the 0726 from Braintree to Liverpool Street as usual this morning, which was a surprise in itself, the bastards cancelled it last week.

Even better, we were on time for a change and didn't even have to wait at Witham for the usual late-running Inter-City train to go through. A red letter day then. I should have known better.

It was only once we'd got to f*cking Chelmsford that it all went to Hell in a Handcart.

All of the arseholes that get on there had done so and had elbowed and barged their way onto the train. And then we just sat there. Not moving. At all.

Eventually the driver tannoyed the bad news, there was points failure. F*ck!

You can probably see where this is going.

I eventually reasoned that with Chelmsford being a busy station, Notwork Fail would get it fixed fairly quickly.

Not a f*cking chance. I thought the clowns at Liverpool Street were cretins, but the f*ckwits at Chelmsford managed to take ineptitude and bone-headed stupidity to a whole new level.

As soon as he found out the points had failed the wanker on the tannoy tells the assembled arseholes that they're going to run all of the trains through the station from (the Northbound) Platform 2.

Cue a stampede of arseholes desperate to get to work across to Plaform 2 which immediately became overcrowded. So, next, the moronic staff immediately block access to it. For everyone.

I just wanted to get back to Witham so I could get picked up to go home and work from there.

No chance, the gormless f*cktards blocking the stairs had their instructions, cretinous and nonsensical though they were; absolutely no-one was getting onto that platform come what may. Tough shit if you want to go anywhere sunshine, we have to get the arseholes on to a train to try and make  room for more arseholes.

It was truly, massively, f*cking mental. I have never, ever, seen the like of it,

These f*ckers are beyond redemption. I can only assume that they ask their job applicants questions with simple common-sense answers and anyone who get's them right is rejected.

Staggering,