Just found...

This from 2001 and this from 2010 . Both classics of their type, or should that be tripe?

Twelve years on and we still have the same f*cked-up single track line but, now, as an added bonus we also have the worlds most f*cked-up railway company, Greater Anglia running trains along it!

I seriously dislike being taken for a mug by the bastards who make these types of announcement which they have absolutely no intention of honouring. Ever.Sadly, it now typifies everything about this shit-hole of a country.

Another Friday...

Another f*ckup courtesy of the world's longest running practical joke: Greater Anglia.

Yet another broken down train causing utter bloody chaos this morning.

It seems plain they don't maintain these clapped out shitboxes properly, simply on the strength of how many of these pieces of crap break each week.

Each and every time they leave the poor paying public who continue to shell out thousands of pounds annually just for the dubious privilege of owning a ticket to sit, or just as often stand, on a motionless train stuck between the endless delays caused by one of the worst performing railway companies operating anywhere not just in the UK or Europe but the world.

Wankers.

More....

F*ckwittery from the kings of the f*ckwits at Greater Anglia.

The 1901 from Witham to Braintree was terminated at Chelmsford tonight because the useless shower of shit can't or won't maintain their f*cking trains.

We were late in this morning for the same reason, a f*cked up train earlier.

Useless Wankers.

Postscript to another triumphant...

Night for the dickheads who run Greater Anglia and Network bloody Rail.

No prizes for guessing what this cretinous  shower of shit decided to do with the 1948 train from Witham to Braintree.

Inevitably they terminated it at Witham and expected us to sit quietly and wait another 45 minutes for the next departure, which was already 10 minutes late then. Basically it all meant what should have been a simple connecting service became a 2 hours plus wait.

It was at this point that tempers exploded and the Witham drones were handed their arses by some extremely pissed off passengers.

What kind of railway thinks they can get away with dumping their  passengers off on a platform with no way of getting home for more than 2 hours?

It's an absolute disgrace.

It was also at this point that finally having had enough, I gave up and got a lift home; eventually getting home 3 miserable hours after setting out.

Complete...

Bloody meltdown again tonight.

F*cked up trains all over the place.

Sitting at Witham at the moment in the forlorn hope that the next Braintree train would be something like on time.

No bloody chance, it's currently somewhere the other side of Ingatestone waiting to get past the f*cked signals.

The latest guesstimate from the prick on the tannoy is 25 minutes late. Means I'm unlikely to get home this side of nine tonight.

I just f*cking despair.

According...

To the Network bloody Rail app, we're not due in to Witham till twenty past f*cking  seven.

We've just arrived at Chelmsford and the wanker on the tannoy was announcing then that there'll be no connection at Witham.

So we're going to be stuck in that shithole until the next train, or more likely the one after,  pitches up sometime towards eight or probably nine o'clock tonight, always assuming that one isn't f*cked up as well.

An ever present danger on this shambles of a railway.

All...

F*cked up tonight.

Presently we're just sitting at  Ingatestone because of f*cked up signals somewhere between here and bloody Chelmsford.

No clues when we're likely to start moving again, and we're now certain to miss the connection to the Braintree train at Witham.

Another triumph for the wankers running Network bloody Rail.

Arseholes.

There are...

Some staggeringly thin-skinned arseholes on the train tonight.

One in particular is really beginning to piss me off big time.

She's been sitting in a seat backing onto a group of teenagers. Every word from them was greeted with a theatrical sigh and a glare; as did a young kiddy sitting somewhere behind me.

She even took exception to some of the alerts I was getting on my mobile.

The miserable cow eventually pissed off into another part of the carriage. Good riddance.

Why get the train at this time of the evening if you want any peace and quiet?

Stupid bitch.

One of the few...

Joys of having to make this trek every day is just occasionally you get to see some - usually  foul-mouthed - little oik get caught traveling without a valid ticket and have their arse and a surprisingly large penalty fare/fine handed to them by a ticket inspector.

It just happened to one of the more deserving cases.

Happy days.

Another

Pisspoor evening traveling with no acceptable 3G signal.

Customers who subscribe to other networks have no difficulty obtaining a good signal. Orange? No f*cking chance.

Bastards.

Twice...

So far this morning I have attempted to get my season ticket for this week.

Once at the ticket office at Braintree where the clerk decided there wasn't enough time to issue me with a ticket before the train departed, (there was, it left 5 minutes late) and directed me to get my ticket from the conductor on the train instead.

The conductor was refusing to issue tickets because he was 'locking the doors out'.

Couple this with an automatic ticket machine being on the blink and we had yet another perfect storm of lazy incompetence typical of Greater Anglia lately.

Quite why the conductor considered it more important to lock the doors out is a mystery unlikely ever to be solved, given this is an 8 coach train and normally only the doors on parts of 12 coach trains are routinely locked out because some of the platforms between Braintree and Witham can't accommodate 12 coaches.

The last we saw of the conductor was as he disappeared into the drivers cab in the company of the driver.

So as it stands, 2 Greater Anglia employees have refused an offer to pay for my ticket.

It'll be interesting if any ticket inspector should decide I'm traveling without buying a ticket given the effort I've already gone to today.

UPDATE

I was finally  able to obtain my ticket at Stratford.

Thank you to the BTP constable manning the barrier for understanding my garbled account and for directing me to the right window.

Really getting...

Quite tired of the shitty quality of the (alleged) 3G mobile telephone signal all the way along the track from Stratford these days.

There are now long stretches of track where there is no useable Orange 3G.

Doubtless this will be spun as an improvement brought about by the merger of Orange and T-Mobile last year.

I take a different view.

What is it...

About the DLR th that attracts the smelliest people anyone is ever likely to encounter?

There was another one tonight, absolutely reeking of old, stale, fag smoke.

Bloody horrible.

Another...

Horrible, sweaty, overcrowded trip into London this morning.

As it was already a warm, humid morning you'd expect the windows on the train to be open to let at least some air in. Not a bit of it, all the windows were slammed shut when I got on at Braintree.

Worse, the section of the carriage where I usually choose to sit was rammed with a load of people I have never before clapped eyes on. Not good.

I went and sat elsewhere. Big mistake. By the time we got to Chelmsford the train was already packed, only for another huge mob of Chelmsford arseholes to clamber on. These bastards truly have no respect for others as they barged on and through the aisle. I got a handbagged  in the back of the head by some ignorant harriden as she elbowed her way through the throng.

The final insult was the tosser who made himself comfy leaning against my seat,  stopping me from being able to sit back properly. Twat.

I'm now paying more than 4 grand a year for these 'service improvements'.

Doesn't seem with it somehow.

Here we go

Again. We're currently sitting just short of Witham, due, allegedly, to a slower train ahead.

I sincerely hope that the 'slower' train is the Braintree one or yet again we're going to be f*cked over by these incompetent bastards...

Update:

Apparently, the Braintree train was also being held ahead of the one I was on waiting for the previous, late-running Braintree service to clear the branch line. Phew!

While...

We're on the subject of National Rail executive bonuses, where precisely does the money to pay these useless f*ckwits come from? National Rail is supposed to be a not for profit company.

Ergo, there should be no profit which could be made available for distribution as bonuses. The only money they could be using is money which should by rights be going into fixing the crap infrastructure NR are supposed to maintain.

Could this be construed as theft I wonder?

It's Friday....

So inevitably the entire Greater Anglia network to and from Liverpool Street is once again in turmoil.

Today's shambles comes to us courtesy of yet another National Rail signal problem at Liverpool Street.

Can someone please remind me again; just why are the executives at NR receiving huge bonus payments?

Just a joke.

Back to work....

After 8 months on the dole, same journey as before, Braintree to Canary Wharf, just working for someone else in a different building.

Still the same head bangers on the the train. I have one near me now. They're  wearing headphones. Somewhat redundant really because I can hear every note over the sound of the train motors and wind noise.

Add to him the silly bird who has been on the phone all the way from Stratford to Chelmsford and it's like I never left.