The cretins...

Running Greater Anglia have clearly worked out that making it easy to submit a Delay Repay claim was costing them a shitload of cash.

Because these thieving bastards have now decreed using email to submit claims is no longer allowed.

We now have to either use their f*cking abysmal web-based claim form which is quite possibly the most amateur use of the internet I've ever encountered or fill in a form and post it to them. Back to the Stone age.

I've worked out that as it costs them money each time I post a claim to them that's what I've taken to doing. One claim, one envelope, every time.

There'll be another claim snail mailing it's  way to them  soon.

F*ck 'em.

Within 10...

Minutes of a train breaking down between Chelmsford and Witham the shitheads at Greater Anglia had f*cked us over again and we're going to terminate us at Witham.

Even now we're sitting in the siding just outside Chelmsford where they've just announced we're going back into Chelmsford and are being slung off.

And we still have almost 9 years of this class of incompetence to live with.

Remember...

This?

Another meaningless promise from the arseholes running the least successful railway company in the world.

Well, almost 2 years on from that piece of prize bullshittery, how many of these 'new' trains are in service? None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Not f*cking one. Oh there were mysterious sightings of a newly painted Class 321 and the odd image of one was published together with a veritable tide of corporate bollocks. None of it true.

I admit I did actually clap eyes on one at Liverpool Street on a couple of occasions where it was part of a Clacton service. The last time that happened was sometime around January or February.

Since then, nothing. It just disappeared into thin air.

We were confidently assured by the clowns managing this f*cked-up shambles that we'd have at least 10 of these re-treads running by now.

Characteristically they lied to us then to win the franchise and just as typically they're trying to ignore the fact they lied to us.

And they appear to be hoping that we haven't noticed we were lied to by these dishonest bastards to get their grubby mitts on our hard-earned money. Well I've noticed.

Another....

...f*ck you Braintree from the arseholes formerly known as Abellio Greater Anglia.

The bastards, now calling themselves just Greater Anglia were gleefully handing out flyers at Liverpool Street this morning, bragging about how they will be running even more bloody trains to Southend, like those f*ckers don't get enough already, Norwich, Colchester and all points between.

Just about the only poor sods not being promised an improvement were once again the unfortunates who choose to live in Braintree.

We can, therefore, confidently continue to expect m our trains to be cancelled without warning as the first resort come any Notwork Fail or AGA f*ck-up anywhere on this shitty, benighted shambles of a rail company.

Friday evening...

And it's all f*cked again courtesy of the f*cktards at Abellend Greater Anglia and their inability to maintain their bloody trains.

Another of their endlessly bolloxed shitboxes was dragarsing up the line to Shenfield at about 10 miles an hour again tonight leaving total f*cking chaos in it's wake, trains were being delayed by 15, 20 and 25 minutes yet again.

As ever though, it was enough for the dickheads running the line to terminate the Braintree train, not once, but twice. The first time at Chelmsford, and then again at Witham.

The day this bunch of clowns are out on their collective arses later this year can't come nearly soon enough.

If it's Monday...

Then you can guarantee either AbHellio or Notwork Fail and quite frequently, both will find a way to f*ck up your journey into work.

This mornings farce was caused by f*cked up points just outside of Chelmsford, Oh, how I hate that f*cking shithole.

I'd caught the 0726 from Braintree to Liverpool Street as usual this morning, which was a surprise in itself, the bastards cancelled it last week.

Even better, we were on time for a change and didn't even have to wait at Witham for the usual late-running Inter-City train to go through. A red letter day then. I should have known better.

It was only once we'd got to f*cking Chelmsford that it all went to Hell in a Handcart.

All of the arseholes that get on there had done so and had elbowed and barged their way onto the train. And then we just sat there. Not moving. At all.

Eventually the driver tannoyed the bad news, there was points failure. F*ck!

You can probably see where this is going.

I eventually reasoned that with Chelmsford being a busy station, Notwork Fail would get it fixed fairly quickly.

Not a f*cking chance. I thought the clowns at Liverpool Street were cretins, but the f*ckwits at Chelmsford managed to take ineptitude and bone-headed stupidity to a whole new level.

As soon as he found out the points had failed the wanker on the tannoy tells the assembled arseholes that they're going to run all of the trains through the station from (the Northbound) Platform 2.

Cue a stampede of arseholes desperate to get to work across to Plaform 2 which immediately became overcrowded. So, next, the moronic staff immediately block access to it. For everyone.

I just wanted to get back to Witham so I could get picked up to go home and work from there.

No chance, the gormless f*cktards blocking the stairs had their instructions, cretinous and nonsensical though they were; absolutely no-one was getting onto that platform come what may. Tough shit if you want to go anywhere sunshine, we have to get the arseholes on to a train to try and make  room for more arseholes.

It was truly, massively, f*cking mental. I have never, ever, seen the like of it,

These f*ckers are beyond redemption. I can only assume that they ask their job applicants questions with simple common-sense answers and anyone who get's them right is rejected.

Staggering,

Another late...

Bloody late freight train, another bolloxed journey.

This morning's 07:26 has been cancelled again due to another late running f*cking freight train, except according to Greater bloody Anglia it's not actually cancelled, it's merely being "started from Witham".

Is it f*ck, it's f*cking CANCELLED you wankers!

They did try to arrange alternative transport. A single 40 seat bus. Pretty much useless for the majority of the 500 of so people who use this train every day.

Oh double shit...

https://twitter.com/Delayed_Again/status/605717664930103296

What the f*ck do the halfwits running Greater Anglia think they're up to?

Why on God's green earth are they wasting money on these pieces of shit?

They're clapped out, unreliable, totally f*cked-up and suitable only for the scrpaheap.

Now these wankers want to turn them into fixer-uppers, they need to be totally replaced. Lock, stock and barrel.

They've had a 'demonstrator', serial 321448 which is mentioned in the article. That thing is nothing but a monstrous piece of crap, a giant clusterf*ck; the lights are too bright; the air con is f*cking useless; the seats are day-glo yellow, green and bloody purple. Purple for God's sake! 

It's as useless as the rest of the shite 321 fleet.

God help us when the contract comes up for renewal next year.   

Oh shit...

http://goo.gl/dguwN5

Finally...

The London Metro rail services formerly run by Abellio Greater Anglia have been prised from their shit stained grasp and are now the sole responsibility of TfHell.

Maybe AGA might be able to run their now much reduced network without f*cking it up quite so regularly.

Somehow though, I doubt it...

This is absolutely typical of Abellio...

https://twitter.com/IBPTSFelixstowe/status/519876338698973184?s=09

Shiney new trains for the Jocks, the same  clapped out shitboxes for the rest of us...

More evidence...

Of just how people like me are being fleeced by the thieving bastards at Greater Anglia.

Just what the f*ck that incomprehensible, rambling bullshit the rail companies' spokesidiot trots out in the last paragraph is anybody's guess.

It's gone high time not just Network Fail but the useless toerags at Greater Anglia together with all the other grasping f*ckers running rail services need to start paying out real money to people as restitution for the shit we have put up with in a daily basis, and not Mickey Mouse vouchers which we can only use to pay these bastards to inflict yet more f*cking misery on us.

Just a f*cking joke.

Just when...

You think they can't f*ck up any more the shower of shit running Greater bloody Anglia come up with yet another jaw dropping piece of f*ckwittery.

For our delectation tonight we have another f*cked up train.

But this one goes above and beyond even the crass incompetent uselessness we've come to expect from these clowns. This one is blocking not one, not two, but the grand total of FOUR platforms at Liverpool Street.

As you can expect it's headless chicken time again as they try to get their collective brain cell around this latest balls-up entirely of their own making.

As always, they've gone into default, cancel f*cking everything mode and trains are being chopped left right and centre. It's pitiful.

And now, for some reason best known only to this bunch of cretins, because they never bother to tell us what the f*ck is going on, we're now sitting motionless outside of Stratford.

I just despair.

Another Friday...

Another catastrophic evening courtesy of Greater f*cking Anglia and Network Bloody Fail.

We had a bit of rain this afternoon so inevitably a section of track has been closed due to what we are told is cataclysmic flooding. Apparently Noah was seen going into Wickes.

Cue utter f*cking chaos at Liverpool Street. No bloody trains, crowds out the doors. Total shambles again.

No trains whatsoever going out towards Ipswich, Colchester or Braintree. Added to this was the usual total lack of information.

I'm also beginning to suspect that to be taken on as a tannoy announcer on GA you need to have had a lobotomy because the pillock at Liverpool St is as useless the cretin at Stratford.

He's spent the last hour talking complete bollocks, claiming there are "short notice alterations" occurring. Like hell there are.

Not one bloody train left before the one I've just got on to which was going to Ipswich, but has now been cancelled. If I could get to Witham, I can get a lift home from there but that's proving problematical.

Update:

I eventually managed to get home via the more circuitous but much more reliable route of getting on a Stansted Express train and then getting picked up from the airport. It's more expensive in fuel but it avoided my having to wait till the tosspots at GA and NR finally got enough of their shit together to run the seriously hobbled "service" they eventually managed to come up with.

I spend in excess of four grand a year on my annual season ticket, and in compensation for tonights mass f*ck-up I can expect to receive a voucher, valid only on the same f*cked-up railway that screwed me in the first place for the sum of £8.00.

It's high time this cosy and corrupt compensation scheme was swept away and companies like Abellio Greater Anglia and Network Rail who consistently fail their customers are forced to pay a proper amount of compensation, in cash. There is absolutely no incentive with the present system for them to improve. They need to be made to hurt financially. 

Proof...

If proof were ever needed just how shit the trains are into and out of London.

I was particularly taken by the bollocks spouted by the dickhead drone spokesidiot at the end of the article. They manage to completely ignore the point.

And just to emphasise that point, we're currently at a standstill in Goodmayes station because of yet more f*cked-up signals up ahead.

Update: Typically, the lazy pricks have cancelled the train from Witham.

Bastards.

Yep, it's Friday....

And we're currently sitting outside of Chelmsford because the bloody signals are f*cked again.

We should be approaching Liverpool Street by now but we've not even got to Chelmsford to allow all the arseholes on yet.

Doubtless they'll be swarming all over us when we finally get there.

It's just a joke...

Another day...

Another shambolic, f*cked up day on the railways.

We've just left Witham where the drone on the tannoy is blithely advising punters to "...avoid travelling..." if they "...can avoid it..." and we were forced to wait for a late-running train to go through due to some balls-up towards Colchester.

As we left, the automated was pissing people off by announcing a cancellation.

It's amazing how these f*cktards keep their jobs.

Update: said balls-up is yet more late-running engineering works. Late-running by 5 hours according to our driver!

I'm just speechless...

I get...

This bollocks in an email  from the dickheads at GA half past four this afternoon:

"There is no disruption reported at this time between London Liverpool Street and Braintree."

And then this gem by text less than 10 minutes later:

LST to BTR on your route: a fault with the signalling system may cancel: The 17:20 and 18:00.

And yes, it's bloody Friday and typically this shower of shit are f*cking up the world and his wife again

The fair...

Weather cyclists seem to have all dusted off their bikes and started cycling to Braintree station again as spring starts to warm up.

The bike racks which have been all but deserted all winter apart from the die-hards like me are now full of shiny, barely used machines which appear pristine compared to the manky, shit-coated thing I've been riding all year.

It would help if the useless pricks at Greater Anglia made the new bike rack in the car park available. It's STILL barred off a good eight weeks after it was installed. What are GA playing at?

Arseholes (fair-weather cyclists and GA alike).

It's Friday...

And, true to form, the wankers at Greater Anglia have seen fit to cancel the 0726 again.

The reasons de jour are overrunning engineering works or another f*cked up train. Take your pick, they've used both excuses this morning.

Whatever, it still means another late start and finish at work today.